By: Coach David Peregrino
Quite often slang used in the online fitness subculture will bleed into mainstream. Expressions such as “u mirin?” or “u jelly?” will pop up on Facebook, or, even worse, be used IRL (in real life) at the gym. The use of arcane colloquialisms and jargon makes it difficult for Internet novices and people over 40 to understand online discussions. To remedy this, I’ve prepared an abridged glossary of terms commonly used in online fitness (and other) forums.
I considered providing links to some of the most popular fitness forums, but thought better of it. Entering this virtual world is wildly entertaining, but most of it is NSFW (not safe for work). And, as you probably suspect, spending time in this subculture will lead to a severely diminished IQ.
Pro Tip: Only use these words in the appropriate context, and don’t overuse them, or else you’ll end up looking very foolish.
Coach David’s Online Fitness Glossary
aware: having knowledge.
• Aware me on the new protein Kai Greene is using.
• Five Guys secret menu: U aware?
brb: be right back. Can (annoyingly) be used in nearly any context.
• What, you didn’t post a vid of your 600lb deadlift? Brb, using my imagination.
cliffs: A short, often bullet-pointed version of a long post. (See tl;dr).
• Here are the cliffs on my botched surgery:
1. No money
2. Found lipo surgeon on Craigs
3. Blacked out, ended up in ER, $50,000 bill
4. Wat do?
bro science: Advice from others, usually backed up by questionable evidence.
• The doc said eating raw eggs was bad. Man, that’s pure bro science!
• My trainer said I shouldn’t squat below parallel because I’d hurt my knees. I dunno, sounds like bro science to me!
copypasta: A portmanteau of “copy” and “paste,” this is a block of text (usually NSFW) that gets pasted in a forum, usually to troll for the lulz. Legendary copypastas include the “navy seal copypasta” and the “was so cash copypasta.” (Warning, these copypastas are NSFW).
e-stats: Exaggerated performance stats posted online
• On his Games profile, he said he has a 1 minute Fran and 700lb deadlift. He’s gotta be e-stattin’!
gear: performance enhancing drugs (PEDs)
• Did you see how he blew up from 250 to 300 in a month, and all his hair fell out? He’s on all kinds of gear!
GOMAD: gallon of milk a day diet
• You wanna make sick gains, brah? You gotta do GOMAD.
________ gonna ________: Usually “haters gonna hate,” one of many expressions that mean people will always do what is in their nature to do.
• Did you see them checking out my 185 hang cleans for reps? Mirers gonna mire!
gonna make it: An uplifting phrase popularized by a now-deceased bodybuilding celebrity, who reassured his followers that “We’re all gonna make it.”
• I lost 20lbs by cutting carbs and doing the Stairmaster every day. Am I gonna make it, brahs?
IIFYM: A diet where everything is game, if it fits your macros (the macronutrient ratio that you have deemed acceptable for your fitness goals).
• You: This McDonald’s double cheese has 46g of carbs, 25g of protein and 29g of fat. Should I eat it?
Friend: Hey, if it fits your macros, why not?
You: Man, this IIFYM diet is awesome!
irl: in real life
• Are you foolish enough to use internet slang irl?
• I’ve been doing GOMAD and IIFYM for two months and I’ve upped my bench from 225 to 315. You jelly of my mad gains, brah?
lulz: A pronunciation spelling of LOLs, roughly translated to “many laughs.”
• Friend: Why did you troll the CrossFit Games Facebook page with that funny pic of Castro?
• You: I did it for the lulz.
lurk: To visit and read forums without participating in the discussions. It’s a good idea to lurk a forum for a long time to learn the language and culture before posting. Otherwise, you may make a fool of yourself.
• Friend: Do you post in that bodybuilding.com forum?
• You: Naw, I’m just a lurker.
mirin: a variation of “admiring.”
• Instead of saying, “Are you admiring me, good sir, as I complete 20 unbroken chest-to-bar butterfly pull ups?”, you simply look at your mirer and say, “U mirin, brah?”
moar: A portmanteau of “more” and “roar,” to emphasize that you want more of something.
• Holy smokes, that almond-crust pizza was tasty. I want moar!
natty: Used to describe an athlete who is “all natural,” meaning they have never used PEDs.
• Friend: How the heck did your clean and jerk go from 225 to 300 in two weeks? Are you on some kind of gear?
• You: No way. All natty, brah!
OP: The original poster, or the person who starts a forum thread.
• You’re saying you’re a real-life Navy SEAL and an expert in “gorilla” warfare? OP, you gotta be trolling.
________ of Peace: Used to refer to anything unusual or attention-getting (not necessarily in a good way).
• Friend: Did you see that guy who got freakish arms by injecting synthol?
• You: Yep. Biceps of Peace.
poverty: shamefully inexpensive, cheap or poorly made
• You should have seen my poverty breakfast this morning: microwaved hot dogs and mustard from the dollar store, washed down with warm Miller Lite.
• Why are you laughing at my poverty car? This ‘95 Geo Metro 3-cylinder gets great mileage.
(srs): This means “serious,” and is used in forums to indicate you are not joking.
• I need some advice guys, a spider just bit me in a bad place. Wat do? (srs).
stay safe: Used to advise others in a forum to avoid activities that could lead to harm, such as taking three scoops of an unknown preworkout.
• Some of those preworkouts have meth in them (srs). Stay safe, brahs.
strong: Similar to ________ of Peace, used to refer to anything unusual or attention-getting (not necessarily in a good way).
• Friend with a big forehead posts a selfie, proudly showing off his newly shredded abs.
• You: Strong forehead.
tech: Derived from “dat-dere Cell-Tech,” an inside joke about the use of PEDs in professional bodybuilding. Like gear, tech refers to PEDs.
• See those guys on the leg press machine? They are teched-out!
that feel: A phrase used by netizens who share their emotions, also known as “feels,” online. Usually accompanied by a pic of the “Feel Guy.”
• That feel when you’re killing the 14.2 WOD and your hand tears.
• Last week I was able to deadlift 520, but today I could barely pull 480. Dat feel.
tl;dr: Too long; didn’t read. Used when someone posts way too much text, usually some kind of rant or emotional release.
• Friend posts 1000-word diatribe against eating tilapia from China.
• You: tl;dr lol
troll: A person who posts in a forum with the intent of derailing the original discussion and making people angry. Troll posts can range from the very dumb (u mad?) to the very clever and subtle (at which point they are considered an art form).
• Man, I got mad when that guy posted that you should kip your pull ups first before learning strict pull ups. Then I realized he was trolling.
• I don’t know why you bother trying to troll in that forum. You’re basically trolling in a sea of trolls.